“When will you two get married?”
“Any wedding bells in the future?”
“You two gonna tie the knot?”
This isn’t a rant.
This isn’t some statement about me being fed up with people asking obvious questions that we’re all guilty of asking or at least thinking (e.g. “When will you have a baby?”, “Are you still single?” and the aforementioned, “When will you two get married.”)
I don’t mind being asked. I would ask me too. After all, as of this week we’ve been together four years. We’re both in our 30’s. And we live together.
So when are we getting married?
Now THAT’s when the conversation can really take a turn. That’s when you really get to know people.
The top 3 most memorable responses I’ve gotten to “we’re not getting married,” and I quote…
So why are you still together?
Oh don’t say that sweety, it’ll happen. Don’t worry.
WHAT IF HE DIES?!
Yes, I could get upset or appalled by these reactions, but truthfully, I appreciate the new perspective….because I DON’T KNOW why we’re not getting married.
Here are the 3 best reasons I’ve come up with…
Neither of us are interested in having a wedding. We don’t like planning. We’re not into in-public dancing. And just the thought of a wedding stresses us out. Yes, you can still get married without having a wedding….OR you could just not get married–which takes even less effort.
We’re wannabe NON-CONFORMISTS
Sometimes it makes us sick how responsible and grown-up we’ve become. Not getting married is our way of hanging on to youth and not giving in to ALL societal (and parental) expectations.
We’re afraid of commitment.
Ok, I’ll speak for myself here. I’M afraid of commitment. It’s just been a pattern throughout my life that I like something until someone says I HAVE to like it. Will courthouse nuptials and a piece of legally-binding paper make me feel trapped? Quite likely. I break into a sweat when having to sign a two year AT&T contract.
Are these the real reasons we’re not getting married? I’m not sure. All I know is WE JUST DON’T WANT TO.
And while it was ingrained in me as a child that…“sometimes in life we have to do things we don’t want to do,” I don’t feel that getting married is something I should lump in with clean the shower drain and go to baby showers.
Because sometimes in life…
“we get to abstain from the things we don’t want to do.”